Every January, I speak to intelligent, motivated people who genuinely want things to be different this year.

They want to feel calmer, more confident, healthier, more focused. They want to stop repeating the same patterns — procrastination, self-doubt, emotional overwhelm, habits that don’t serve them — and finally move forward.

And yet, despite good intentions, many people find themselves slipping back into old ways within weeks. This often leads to frustration, self-criticism, or the familiar thought: “Why can’t I just stick to it?”

If this sounds familiar, I want you to know something important:

There is nothing wrong with you

Why willpower alone doesn’t work

Most New Year resolutions rely on willpower and conscious effort. We tell ourselves we’ll “try harder”, be more disciplined, or push through resistance.

But real change doesn’t happen at the level of conscious intention alone.

Much of what drives our behaviour lives in the subconscious brain and nervous system — the part of us responsible for emotional responses, habits, stress patterns, and automatic reactions. If this system doesn’t feel safe with change, it will quietly pull us back towards what’s familiar, even if what’s familiar isn’t what we want.
This is why people can know what they want to do, fully understand why it matters, and still feel unable to follow through. The nervous system is simply doing its job: protecting you based on past learning and experience.

A different way to approach change

Sustainable change happens when we work with the brain and nervous system rather than trying to override them.

In my work, I help clients create change at this deeper level — where emotional patterns, stress responses, and limiting beliefs are stored. When the nervous system feels safer, more regulated, and less driven by old threat responses, change often becomes easier and more natural.

Clients frequently tell me they’re surprised by how different this feels. Instead of forcing themselves to change, they notice that old reactions soften, new choices feel more accessible, and progress happens without the constant internal battle.
This isn’t about positive thinking or trying to “fix” yourself. It’s about supporting your system to update patterns that are no longer needed.

What this means for your year ahead

If you’ve struggled with resolutions in the past, perhaps this year doesn’t need more effort — it needs a different approach.

One that understands how change really works.

When we address the root causes rather than the surface behaviours, people often experience shifts not only in habits and performance, but also in confidence, emotional resilience, and their relationship with themselves.

A gentle invitation

If you’re tired of starting again each January and would like support that works at the level where real change happens, I’d love to help.

You don’t need to push harder or become someone else. Change can begin by working with your system, just as it is.
If this resonates, you’re very welcome to get in touch and explore whether working together feels right for you.

Sandra Nathan is an experienced personal development practitioner working with clients internationally. Through her work as founder of Becoming Your Best Self, she supports people to create meaningful, lasting change by working with the brain and nervous system rather than relying on willpower alone. Sandra specialises in helping clients move beyond long-standing emotional patterns, stress, and self-limiting beliefs so change feels easier and more sustainable.
To find out more or explore working together, visit www.becomingyourbestself.co.uk